• Quirrel: Yes my Dark King.
  • Voldemort: Just relax with the Dark King, ok? I watch you wipe your butt daily. You can call me voldemort, we're there. We've reached that point.
  • frowl:

    me: i better screenshot this just in case i need to use it for black mail

    precumming:

    SINCE U BEEN GONE !!!!!!!!!!!! (since u been gone) I CAN BREATHE FOR THE FIRST TIME IM SO MOVING ON (ya ya) THANKS TO YOU (thanks to you) NOW I GET (now i get) I GET WHAT I WAAAAAAAAAANT

  • Straight haired person: Just comb it!
  • Curly haired person:
  • phanphanphan:

    you know when you try to keep yourself from sounding disappointed and then your voice does the wobbly thing and fuCK

    daisyvalley:

    thefinalhidingplace:

    tyleroakley:

    DOGS ARE SUCH GLORIOUS CREATURES.

    Yes

    I love dogs so much oh my god

    panducky:

    if you kiss my neck and bite my lip your pants are coming off.

    nickelbackthatassup:

    don’t trust college kids. I threw a party w plenty of food/drinks shit even weed and I wake up and you know what’s missing? my pineapple. who went to the back of my fridge and said imma take all this pineapple. damn son. take the free alcohol not my pineapple man…

    May your lipstick be the reddest and your eyeliner be symmetrical.

    ughjxnna:

    OH MY GOD THIS CARD

    railroadsoftware:

    bro you look so cute right now dude. dude you are so fucking adorable 

    lonelywhiteasian:

    all i ever say is “ugh” because it can show confusion, lust, disgust and contempt, and that’s pretty much my life 

  • Parents: Are you taking selfies?
  • Me: No it's Snapchat
  • wank-r:

    if you make me laugh im already 89% in love with you